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______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________In 50 words or less, what does "HANDS OFF" mean to you?
NAME_____________________________________ DATE OF BIRTH_____________HEIGHT___________ WEIGHT____________ IQ__________ GPA_____________SOCIAL SECURITY #_________________ DRIVERS LICENSE #________________BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES____________________________________________HOME ADDRESS_______________________ CITY/STATE___________ ZIP______Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No If No, explain: ______________________________________________________________Number of years they have been married _________If less than your age, explain ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ACCESSORIES SECTION: A.
Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter:- Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool.- Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight.- Places where there is darkness.- Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness.- Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her throat.- Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chainsaws are okay.- Hockey games are okay.- Old folks homes are better. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been.
However, In order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. t you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?
The concept of a Dad issuing his ground rules for dating his daughter seemed to unite the entire tribe of Fathers!
I’m guessing those rules are what all of us have been thinking but didn’t think we could actually ever say it.