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But, and here's the tricky part, reveal too much too soon, or reveal the wrong types of things, and you run the risk of scaring the other, or overwhelming them with too much information. Self-disclosure involves revealing personal details about ourselves, our past, our thoughts, our feelings, or any other information which makes us "knowable" to another. People we know on a casual level, we tend to communicate with on a casual level.
No doubt at some point you've met someone who, for some strange reason, decided to tell you his life story. Not only that, but revealing ourselves to others is, in itself, extremely risky. Disclosing involves openness, a desire to get closer to another, and an implied trust in the person we're revealing ourselves to. But disclosing IS one of the defining characteristics of friends and lovers.
All five of these parts are designed to work together in harmony.
Sure, they might discuss a bad week at work, even troubles in their love lives. Our interactions with other people, dates that we go on, and conversations in general, are characterized by what psychologists often call the Reveal-Conceal Dilemma.That is, in order to get to know someone, in order to get closer, in order to create friendship, intimacy, or love, you have to reveal yourself.Their approach to intimacy probably also harks back to prehistory: Picture ancestral males gathering behind a bush, quietly staring across the grass in hopes of felling a passing buffalo.They faced their enemies but sat next to their friends.